Family

Gay men often say that coming out to parent's is more challenging than any other aspect of the coming out process. It is very hard to judge how parent's are going to react to your sexuality. There are several things you should take into consideration.

When and where you decide to tell them is important, It's probably not a good idea to announce it at a family dinner party! Your parents may not react well, so try to go somewhere quiet where you can really have a chance to tell them exactly how you have been feeling and that will also give them the opportunity to say how they feel.

You will probably have already rehearsed how you might come out. Be prepared for the unexpected, Your parent's may have many questions to ask you so it's a good idea to be clear about what information you want to share.

Whatever their reaction is, it is best to stay calm and be clear about why you are telling them. This will hopefully enable your parent's to see that you are confident and sure of what you are saying

There are a few typical things that parents say when their son comes out. Plus a few suggestions on what you might want to say from young gay men who have been there

"Where did we go wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, you have been wonderful parents and have raised a son who wants to be honest witrh you, who doesn't want to live a lie. A son who wants you to be part of his life"

"It's just a phase"

"I have been coming to terms with this for a long time and i know for sure that i am gay and will be for the rest of my life, i hope that after you are able to come to terms with it we can have a better relationship"

"You just haven't met the right girl yet"

"I have met lots of girls but i am not attracted to them, i can't change the way i am"

So these are just a few ideas on how to respond to parent's questions. Just remember that the choice to come out is yours, don't be pressured. If it does not go well. There are support agencies for young gay men and parent's, check out the links page for more information.